A Letter to Multiple Sclerosis
A letter to Multiple Sclerosis
A Letter to Multiple Sclerosis
You first visited me a long time ago. It was 1972, I was 18 and having a pint or two of beer. I went to the loo for a pee but nothing happened. In 1979 I had a serious bladder spasm and I wet myself at work. You went away only to return very occasionally but we had not been introduced. My quality of life was good but one day when I was very tired I had double vision.
The diagnosis
My GP referred me to a consultant. The consultant told me I had MS. You had been rumbled, it was 1994 and I was 40. You had left your calling card but the consultant didn’t tell me anything about you.
In those days I was so ignorant.
Occasionally MS was a problem
Sometimes you could make my vision go a bit wonky, the grass was a different shade of green depending which eye I looked through. When I wanted a pee then sometimes I had to move fast. You were beginning to affect my life.
In 2000 you changed
Now I could not walk far over uneven ground. The dog walks became more of an effort, the problem was my left foot.
MS was becoming a real nuisance
It was in 2004 I realized I could not run across the road or go upstairs two at a time. Now you were really affecting my life; I could no longer pretend the MS was a mild irritant.
No one told me how you would affect me as you grew up. Now you were no longer a teenager. You stopped me from driving; you stopped me walking very far. I used walking poles to help my balance and make walking easier. The Wife had to take on more and more of the jobs I used to do. She is a real hero and just gets on with things.
You took away so much of my independence?
You made sure my life became more and more of a struggle. Your effect on me was growing year on year. I can look back and see when you stopped me doing things that I enjoyed. By 2010 it was obvious that I was not the man I used to be. Eventually I had to take medical retirement.
But…
You have given me new opportunities. I help universities as a service user. Aid4disabled.com is the biggest one, it is my therapy.
Leave me alone
I do not know how much more you will do to me and my family. I cannot imagine life without you but I do wish that you would stop making my body so dysfunctional.
Stop destroying my life.
Dear Patrick, thank you very much for such a wonderful blog. Really appreciate it. Since I found it, I am really fond of it. Good luck. Mateja (from Slovenia)
Hi Mateja,
Thank you so much.
Talk soon,
Patrick